Summertime and the Livin's Not Easy...

Ok, ok, so I know I was going to post before the fourth...and I had fabulous intentions, but life and need for sleep keep getting in the way! I will say that my eating has been on point and I have been getting my workouts in, so at least that's good! I made it through the fourth of July barbecues without any setbacks, which is rare. I was actually quite surprised at how "good" I did not only in terms of my eating, but also my willingness to attend all events surrounding our nation's birth. You see, I have a bit of a confession to make. Those who know me well are used to it, but I realize that this bad habit is not normal. I have a tendency to decline invitations to social events such as holiday parties and barbecues for fear that I will overindulge in "forbidden" foods and feel guilty for days. I have also been known to exercise extra to make up for bad eating, again I know this is bad and I haven't done it in a long time, but I feel that I need to put it out there because I know that I am not the only one guilty of this.  Sometimes when I am at a party, I have platter envy.  I am jealous of the foods that other people seemingly have the freedom to enjoy. I watch as they pile potato salad and hot dogs and cookies on their plates and literally get angry.  Not angry at them, but angry at myself because I know I would never be able to eat like that, I wouldn't even enjoy it. Good thing there's always a protein bar in the diaper bag and a case of RTD protein shakes in the car!  I have declined invitations to restaurants that don't have websites because I was not able to pre-plan my meal. I am not upset by this, don't get the wrong idea. I just know what I have to do right now, and it's not always fun, but it's the only way that's going to work for me. Having said that, I will admit that I am nervous for our upcoming vacation.

     I made the list of food we plan on bringing. I had "the talk" with the hubs....ew, no, not that talk, the talk about which meals will be at restaurants, I told him he can sleep "in" as long as I can work out.  At least my intentions are good....for now. This year, I am determined to stay on track. Usually vacation is a time where I let go a little bit, but the quest to fit into these work pants before work starts won't be won with funnel cake and ice cream. My expectations are realistic, I don't expect to lose weight on vacation, but I am determined to not gain this time. Since the knees are shot, running won't be an option. I'm packing my Insanity DVD's, two kettlebells, and the trusty lap top. I haven't been weighing myself, but I will weigh and take measurements before we leave so I can see what, if any, damage is done. I guess it's time for (gasp) pictures again...I took the last ones on June 17th, so it's creeping up....not looking forward to it at all....

   In happier news, tonight was the ever popular Tees Family Breakfast for Dinner night.  For about 4 years, we have had breakfast for dinner every Thursday night, but with Kev's new work schedule, it has been switched to Friday. I have a few favorite staple breakfast meals that I rotate throughout the month. Tonight was chocolate chip banana pancakes, cheese omelettes, and turkey sausage. Kev can't get enough of these pancakes, even with a double batch and two for the dogs and a dinner tantrum from Mussolini (Rory) we still only have one left. These are quick and easy, and don't let the name fool you - healthy. We were so ravenous by the time we got to the table, that I forgot to take a pic, but I will share my recipe with you:

                                                                  Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes
                                                            2 cups whole rolled oats
                                                            2 tbsp. flax seed
                                                            2 scoops banana protein powder (I used Syntha 6)
                                                            1/4 cup Fiber One pancake mix
                                                             1 tsp Vanilla Extract
                                                             2 egg whites
                                                             2/3 cup water (or to desired consistency)
                                                            1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Directions: Use a blender to combine oats and flax seeds. Combine remaining dry ingredients in bowl and add to oats/flax. Add vanilla, egg whites, and water to desired consistency. Stir untill lumps are gone. Use ladel to make pancakes on hot griddle, add chips as desired.

     Sorry if this post is kind of boring...I knew that I was due for one, but the lack of sleep is really catching up with me.  The only reason I had time tonight is because Kev took Rory swimming at a friend's house...he's a good guy :) Thank God for smoothies...the only thing keeping me from being a complete zombie right now! Cheers!!

Failing to Plan is Planning to Stuff My Face....

     I'm a planner, tried and true...it's not something that I do, it's who I am. I plan lessons, outings, outfits, playdates, vacations, events, summers, winters, weekends, and most importantly (for our purposes here anyway) meals and workouts. This integral part of my Sunday night "ritual" began when I went back to work after having Rory. I was having difficulty managing my time and would get overwhelmed, it was hard for me to get up so early and I would sometimes have to choose between cooking a good dinner or getting a workout in.  I could tell that Kevin was getting sick of "Boil in a Bag" rice and chicken with the cream of mushroom soup. The problem was I would just haphazardly go to the grocery store every week, buying a few things, and then getting frustrated when lo and behold, there was no semblance of dinner because I hadn't even thought about what the heck we were going to eat for dinner. I knew I wasn't going to lose the rest of the baby weight eating peanut butter and jelly every night.....that was part of the reason my butt got so wide in the first place...it was time to get my butt in gear and get serious about life.

     Every week, before I go to the grocery store, I write out a dinner list for the upcoming week. I usually shop on Saturday morning.

I usually don't cook on Saturdays, we order out. Kev's late night means leftovers, egg whites, or oatmeal, whatever we have laying around.  I find that by planning healthy dinners in advance, I have no excuse but to stay on track. It is also helpful when tracking my calories in My Fitness Pal. Once the master dinner list is complete, I can make sure that we get the things we need to make the stuff we are going to eat...simple concept...but I'm slow sometimes. During the school year, breakfast is either Greek Yogurt with half a cup of Kashi Go Lean Crunch or Old Fashioned Oats with Natty (all natural) Peanut Butter, it has to be simple since I eat at school. In the summer, I have time for Ezekiel bread and egg whites, total treat every day...sometimes I eat it for lunch too! I also make all my lunch and snack foods on Sunday afternoons. During the school year, I boil a dozen eggs, since I don't get egg whites at breakfast. In the summer, I grill up a few chicken breasts. I always have cut veggies in the fridge for snacks and lemons and limes for my water. I really really hate drinking water, but the lemons and limes help...I had to get off the Crystal Light, there were days when I was drinking over a gallon of chemicals. I can't kick the Splenda, I've tried and I just can't,
 so I had to give up the Crystal Light! Kev says I have a way of finding the laziest way to do the easiest thing...one thing I am most lazy about is making myself snacks...probably because I'm always cleaning up somebody's mess or wiping somebody's butt, or chastising one of my furtarded dogs and by the time I decide to "reward myself" with a snack (yeah cause that's what I do, I can't have a snack till the stupid stuff's done) I'm about to gnaw off my arm...

      Once the food is planned, I can decide how I am going to workout for the coming week. I plan for six days, but I'm happy if I get five. Before I got really serious about fitness, I would just say, "Uh, I guess I'll uh run on the treadmill"...or I would spend 20 minutes at 5 o'clock in the morning looking through DVD's because I couldn't decide which one would make me want to make me kill myself the least....Please don't get me wrong, if you are a runner and you can run on the treadmill every day and not get bored, God bless you, I wish I could. The fact is that my knees are so bad now I can barely run 3 miles, the last time I ran was last summer on the boardwalk in Wildwood, the right knee gave out after about 2 miles and the left one lasted about two more blocks....and I didn't have my phone....and Rory was with me in the jogging stroller....I had to leave the boards and walk home through the crest....and if you know Wildwood, you know that that can be dicey. In a way, I'm glad I started having knee problems, it forced me to be more creative with my cardio. I like to do similar routines for about 4 weeks and then change it up. You can read more about muscle confusion here. As with anything, there are solid arguments on both sides, but I'll choose the side that I like because this is my blog....so there! I like to fill up my calendar with my workouts and weigh in's (only because I am in weight loss mode, I normally don't even use a scale)

I have recently began to incorporate kettle bells into my lifting routine. KB 40 means I did a 40 minute kettle bell DVD, E45 means 45 minute hill intervals on the elliptical, HIIT means I did 20 minutes of high intensity interval training, CI means I did an Insanity workout, NROL means I did a full body heavy lifting routine from the men's version of The New Rules of Lifting. It might sound a bit crazy, but it keeps me on track....the last things I need are more excuses. As the fourth of July approaches, stay tuned for staying on track at parties and holidays...here's to hoping I get around to it before the barbecues begin...

     And that's pretty much how I spend my Sundays after church and Tees' Family Nap Time.....don't be jealous!!!! How do you like to spend your Sunday afternoons?

My favorite PWS and FINALLY seeing some results!!

     Haven't posted in a few days, I've been at church every night this week till 9pm for Vacation Bible School and my brain is mushier than normal.....but on the topic of brain mush, I wanted to share with you my all-time favorite PWS (pre workout shake). Many people, especially women, tend to follow the old school notion of "workout on an empty stomach". Research has proven that this is not the best way to go, especially if you are like me and workout in the morning. Your body has already been in a fasting state for at least 8 hours and now you are going to ask it to perform tasks that require strength and endurance with no fuel? That is absolutely absurd. You wouldn't drive your car all week and then be able to get to Wildwood on the same tank of gas, your body is no different. I promise I'm not going to get all sciencey on you, if you want more information on the topic, Google it for yourself. Anyway, back to MY favorite PWS...

     I like to start with a cup of room temperature coffee. I usually save what's leftover from the previous day's pot...I'm an old lady like that (no offense, old ladies, you know I'm right!). I then take one scoop of my favorite protein powder - this morning it happened to be Syntha 6 Banana. Four ice cubes, 30 seconds in my imitation "Magic Bullet" and voila - Liquid Gold!

                                                   You can tell it's old by the lovely ring around the mug...

       
                                          Mmmmmmmm......makes me sad tomorrow is a cardio day!
      It tastes just like a Frappachino (not like I would know).....but it's good enough for me. Finally, coffee is healthy again, and with my lack of sleep, I'll take all the caffeine I can get. You can read more about some of the benefits of using caffeine to fuel your workouts here. Of course it is one-sided...but it's my blog, so there! And on the topic of protein, I have also found that many women I know do not get enough complete protein in their diets. Ladies, if you are lifting weights, your body CANNOT build muscle without protein, and if you are not lifting, YOU NEED TO START! You can read more about that here. And no matter what some "expert" told you, unless you take steroids and male hormones, you will never, ever look like this:

So, knock it off. You are not going to get bulky from lifting. You are going to build lean muscle mass which helps your body to burn more calories while you are at rest. Again, I promised not to go all sciencey on you, but Google it, buy a good weight training book, like this one. Learn for yourself about some of the benefits of weight training, I promise if you choose the right weight and use correct form, you will be pleasantly surprised.
     In other news, today was my weigh-in day and the scale is moving in the right direction. After 4 weeks at 155, I was elated to see 153 when I stepped on that bad boy this morning. I think that the consistency of my workouts and eating habits have been key here. I have come to the grim realization that I am now over 30 and if I want to lose weight, it means absolutely positively NO CHEATING. That means not even one fry off my kid's plate. No slice of pizza on Friday with my salad. I didn't even have cake last week at Rory's birthday party, but to me, it's totally worth it. I don't feel deprived, I feel up for the challenge. I have always been able to maintain with a weekly cheat meal or even day, but I simply can't lose with cheating. You name a diet, and I've probably tried it over the years, but the only thing that really works for me is eating CLEAN WHOLE FOODS, end of story. I'm Italian, I'm genetically inclined for fatness, and that's just the way it is.
I'm not counting calories, as my mind is literally a Rolodex of nutritional information. Having said that, I know that I can eat roughly 1,500 calories on days that I work out if I'm trying to lose and around 1,200 calories on rest days. You can calculate your own macro nutrient needs here. If you are at a plateau, the first place to look is your diet.  I find that many women do not get enough calories when trying to lose weight. The bottom line is, if you are hungry "all the time", you are probably not eating enough.....again....Google it! I have used sites like My Fitness Pal for years. Food journaling is an effective way to really see what you are eating. I like My Fitness Pal because they have a large database with nutrtional information for many foods already loaded in the system, even restaurants. After the eating is under control, the next stop is exercise...

     My goal now that it's summer and I really want to lose a few pounds before our vacation, is to get 6 workouts in each week. 3 cardio days, and 3 weight training days. For my cardio, I am doing HIIT twice a week and one day of hill intervals on the elliptical or an Insanity or other bootcamp workout. For my weight training, I am doing kettlebells twice a week and one day of heavy lifting. Today was a heavy lifting day, and my numbers are slowly improving.  I was able to lift heavy until my 30th week of pregnancy. At 7months pregnant, I was still able to squat around 100lbs for 15 reps. Now, 12 weeks post partum, I am at a measley 65lbs for 15 reps. I am really trying to take the safe road here as the last thing I want to do is injure myself and then not be able to work out. At 31 weeks, I injured my tailbone from lifting too heavy and the effects of Relaxin. I was forced to take it easy for a few weeks, which drove me nuts! While I was able to continue to exercise until 38 weeks, I was pretty much just sticking to cardio.....I HATE CARDIO!!!!! I'm just so happy to be back to a good schedule again. It's scarey when you "fall of the wagon", your not sure how or if you're ever going to get back to "normal".....I am very thankful for prayer. I know that I can't do anything without the grace of God. Every morning when I say my prayers, I ask God to keep me on track and every night I thank Him....there is no way I could make it through the day on my own!

                                            Toby is starting to get the hang of "playing exercise"

Rory doing pushups like Mommy....I know he's under the weight bench...I never said he was smart...thank God he's cute!

And the age old question is.....

Where do you find the time to work out? The answer is simple, I don't find the time, I MAKE the time. If you want something bad enough, you'll figure out a way to do it.  If someone offered you a free cruise for you and your family, you would figure out a way to make it work, because it's something you WANT to do. If you or your husband loses a job, you find a way to put clothes on your kids' backs and food in their mouths because you HAVE to. Yet when it comes to our own health, why are we always putting ourselves last? Don't you WANT to be around for your family for many years to come? Don't you HAVE to be healthy and take care of yourself in order to do that? Oohhhhh, yeah, I just went there, that's right reverse MOM GUILT! Come on, ladies, we all know about the mom guilt.....we are all "bad" mothers, of which I am the worst. Before I had children, my mother-in-law always said that with the kids, comes the guilt. And boy was she ever right! The day I came home from the hospital with Rory she said, "So, are you the worst mother in the world yet?!" She was a hip, hip lady! (miss you, Carol!) To answer her question, of course I was already the worst mother, my baby was breech, I had to have a C Section, we were at a birth center and not a hospital because I was some sort of hormonal dillusional hippy...blah blah blah.....but that's another story for another post......Ok, so back to the mom guilt....maybe you don't work out because you feel guilty, ok well get over it. Your kids will live if you want to work out for an hour. During the school year (I'm a teacher) I wake up at 4:45am to work out. That's right, and I am not dead. Am I always able to work out in the morning? Absolutely not, some nights I am up making cupcakes for my students, some nights I have church things that keep me out till 10, some nights I'm changing sheets in the middle of the night because Daddy can't stick to the "No juice before bed!" rule, some nights I'm simply laying awake thinking of all the crap I have to do and therefore can't get to sleep....so you get the point, but what you won't get from me is sympathy.....I get it and I still get my butt out of bed in the morning and do it. The hardest part is getting my feet to hit the floor. The key is being organized and having a scheduled. As a self-proclaimed obsessive-compulsive psychopaths, some of my many hobbies include making schedules and lists. I schedule my workouts every Sunday and write them on the calendar that hangs in my kitchen, this way it's something I HAVE to follow, as I don't like a lying calendar and I would NEVER cross something off, then I would have to look at it every day and that makes me CRAZY(er). I also plan out my work outfits every Sunday and lay them out the night before, right down to the underware, this way if I'm running late, I don't have to think. Of course my workout clothes/shoes are right next to my bed and I get my water (a.k.a. Exercise Juice to Rory) ready the night before and put it in the fridge. I also make sure the daycare/mom-mom's bags are packed and the kids' clothes are laid out. If I go through all this trouble, you best believe I am working out in the morning! There are those days where I end up hitting snooze, in which case I work out at night (ew) I HATE working out at night, but you gotta do what ya gotta do. For some people, like my awesome sister-in-law, Jackie, night time is the way to go. That woman is on the treadmill at 9pm......and she has FOUR kids, the youngest of which is 8 months and she is smokin' hot....so if she can do it, so can you, so save it. I'll tell you the same thing I tell my 6th graders, " I am not your Dr. Phil and I am not your Oprah, and I don't want to hear your sob stories and excuses".  And don't even get me started on that, "But what about my husband" nonsense. They are his kids too, you didn't make them by yourself. He can watch them for an hour while you work out. So what if he lets your kid play with the toilet plunger (true story here), or accidentally feeds your baby protein powder instead of formula (again, true story...not my husband, but my stepdad), or thinks the dog is an acceptable baby sitter for "just a few minutes".....your kids will live and just remember, his mistakes with the children just remind you of how awesome and perfect you are and how your family would never survive without you. Kevin and I sort of make these little "deals" on Saturday, he gets to sleep in, but he has to watch the kids as soon as he gets up so I can work out. On Sundays, he gets up early with me and watches the kids so I can work out before church, but then I take them with me, which gives him two hours to scratch himself, or mow the lawn, or watch a sporting event, or whatever it is that men do.

   Now that it's summer and I'm "off" (actually on because any one who stays home with children knows that going to work is a TREAT compared to being bossed around by a 36inch dictator filling juice cups and wiping hineys all day) I have had to get more creative with my workout time. I don't like to work out when they nap, that is my precious "Mommy Shows", or nap or facebook or all of the above time. Rory loves to "play exercise" I take him into the back room, he sits on the weight bench and plays with trucks or terrorizes the dogs while chattering about one senseless thing or another. I even make him his own "Exercise Juice" in an old Nalgene bottle that my husband melted in the diswasher. Rory would prefer to share Mommy's exercise juice, but he's gross, he has backwash, and my husband lets him play with the toilet plunger, wh knows what kind of germs he has! Toby is hit or miss, I usually try to pop him in the swing. I make sure he is recently fed and changed and if he cries for a bit, it won't kill him, he won't remember, but I will be annoyed all day if I don't work out. Mad at myself for not managing my time better and then mad at the kids because I can't just do what I want to do. That's right, I admit that sometimes I am annoyed that I can't do my own stuff. Any mom who says otherwise is either a liar or heavily medicated. I know it's what I signed up for, but sometimes I just wanna do what I wanna do! If it's too hot in my unairconditioned wieght room, as was the case this morning, I put Rory in front of the TV and pop a workout DVD in my laptop and workout in the family room. If I'm not in the mood for one of the DVD's in my collection, I might go over to http://www.bodyrocktv.com/ or http://www.crossfit.com/ or http://www.exercisetv.tv/ and see what they have going on. The bottom line is, if you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to make it happen. I don't always get my 5 workouts in each week, sometimes life gets in the way, the key is to not give up if you have to skip a few days or even a week here and there. I work in a 200 year old building that is not airconditioned. Those last two weeks of school were brutal, there was no way I could work out in the morning as the baby decided to wake at least 4 times a night when I started back to work and it was just too hot when I got home from work. The last two weeks of the school year, I only managed to get 3 workouts in. The world didn't end, I didn't decide to drown myself in ice cream. I figured it out, reorganized myself, and got back on track.....and you can too! I would love to carry on, but I've been commissioned to cook Fathers' Day dinner for the hubs and my step dad (two of the coolest dads I know!).....time to get my butt in the kitchen!

           Making Fathers' Day Crafts while rocking the baby to sleep (see Rory "washing" the windows in the background?)

Daddy taking care of Tob while Mommy works out

                          Today was a cardio day, so Cardio Inferno did the trick!

Finally Done Wasting My Time...

Hi, my name is Zahra, and I'm a time waster. I waste time on facebook, worrying, obsessing over my next meal, beating myself up for not being more disciplined, reading other people's blogs, etc. After many months, I have decided that I am done wasting my time. My husband, Kevin, has finally persuaded me to create my own blog. See, the problem is, I'm constantly searching, but instead fall short and end up disappointed. As a former fat kid turned health nut, I was always scared that having kids would mean a lifetime of fatness. I was sure that I was going to gain 100 pounds when I got pregnant and never lose it. In 2007, I got pregnant with my first son, Rory and was determined to workout and eat right. I ran untill the day I went into labor and watched what I ate religiously...for the first 36 weeks....then came the cereal cravings, Lucky Charms for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.....biscuits....I baked them every day and would eat half the tray before my husband came home from work.....oh and the ice cream. Every week when I went to the midwife, I would write my weight down in a little book...problem was I would weigh myself in the bathroom at the office, lie to the Midwife by 3-4 pounds and then lie in my little book by another 3-4 pounds (CRAZY, I know!) According to my excellent record keeping, I gained a textbook perfect 35lbs....in reality, it was probably closer to 50!!! The day I gave birth, I weighed in at 185lbs, but that was no problem because all the weight was going to just magically melt away from breastfeeding....right?...How about a big FAT wrong.  I came home from the hospital a week after my emergency C-Section at 175.....and didn't lose a single pound for 8 weeks. That's right all those "Oh, I was skinnier after breastfeeding and fit into my jeans at my six week appointment"  ladies.....not me....I was (am) part of the -7% of women who "hold on to the weight to make milk"......However, I am not part of the "Oh, I'll have my whole life to get my body back, whatever's best for the baby" people. Because what's best for my baby is for me to be happy, and the fact was, I was miserable. I wore the same pair of "homeless" pants (as my friend Corinne calls them) for 10 weeks, then graduated back to the maternity jeans. I didn't get it and still don't. I worked out 6 days a week, and logged every morsel that went into my mouth and the scale didn't budge. I was in maternity pants till Rory was 5 months old, then I broke down and bought some fat pants. One day the switch turned on, and my body just started losing the weight. By the time Rory was 8 months old, I was back down to almost pre-pregnancy weight at 140lbs (pre-prego was 135). Fast forward 3 years and one more kid later, here I sit at 155lbs and not budging. And here's where the searching that made way for this blog comes in. I have been on a quest to find the stories of REAL women. So every night, with a baby in my lap, to Google I go. Searching for journeys of real moms with REAL POST PARTUM bodies. I couldn't really find any. Every image and blog I found just made me feel worse about myself. So, here goes nothing. I'm putting it all out there. I'm going to post my pictures, I'm going to be honest about my progress, maybe throw a recipe or two in there somewhere. You can call me crazy(er), you can tell your friends I'm just attention starved, you might even say to yourself, "Ew, why would she do that"...but on the off chance that there's someone out there just like me. Another woman just searching....for answers, ideas, hope, a good laugh, and/or just some one to commiserate with...I'm doing it....I'm putting it all out there. I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm not looking for people to write comments like "oh, but you are beautiful"...or "oh, you look fine"....or "shut up, I would give my right kidney to weigh 155"...that's not what I'm looking for. I just want people to know that it is possible, you can do it, but it takes a lot of work, heartache, and a few bumps in the road. When you are a health/fitness/exercise-aholic like me, it's extra hard when you are not at your ideal weight. I feel like a fraud.....or one of those people who audition for American Idol who swears they can sing only to be ridiculed by the judges.....if there's one thing in this world that I know about it's how to eat right and exercise effectively....now I'm just waiting for my body to figure that out....enjoy!